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Today and now, you are enough. | Mostly Organized Mom

Today and now, you are enough.

Sometimes it seems the day will never end…

that you will never not be tired…

that the toys will never be picked up…

or the to do list ever done…

Sometimes it feels like you are stuck forever in survival mode…

That nothing you do will be enough…

Who we are becoming is, in large part, what we learn from the experiences and lessons personalized to our lives.  We all have struggles and suffering.  Mine have been very small compared to some, but through them I’ve learned tender lessons.  This is part of my story.

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I come from a long line of hard-workers who have been anxiously engaged in good causes.  For most of my adult life, I was all about getting things done:  raising and homeschooling our 7 children with their activities and frequent illnesses, juggling church callings, community involvement, and small businesses.  Need an event organized?  I’m your gal.  Leap tall buildings in a single bound?  No problem.  Mind you, I’m not saying any of it was done well or that the floors were ever mopped often enough, but I was busy.

 Four years ago, during a family walk at Rope Mill Park, I twisted my ankle and fell on some big rocks, getting very banged up from head to toe.  The cuts and bruises healed within a couple of weeks, but the inside of my head didn’t.  Some days were fine, many days were spent just sleeping or in a fog.  Tasks that were as simple as talking on the phone or emptying the dishwasher became very difficult.  My sunglasses–worn indoors or out–were a constant non-fashion accessory.  The warm welcome to the world of migraines was just a piece of the package.  Physical movement was restricted; mental exertion was exhausting.  Multi-tasking was a thing of the past. Leap tall buildings?  Umm, I’ll just sit in this comfy chair, thank you. 

Sitting there, in yet another mental fog one day, a confused, lost soul , I tried to figure out what my purpose in life was now.  I couldn’t reliably take care of my family and was little help to anyone outside of my family.  The entirety of my daily to-do list was: dress, tell each family member living at home “I love you”, ride stationary bike for 20 minutes, smile as much as possible.  Seriously–that was the whole list for weeks.  Despite the patience and immense kindness of my husband and children, I felt stupid and worthless and didn’t know if I would get better or not.  Then, a powerful, sweet lesson reached my heart. 

 I knew then that the Lord loved me and accepted me completely—as is, with all the need for improvement.   It wasn’t about what I did, but who I was—His child.  He didn’t care if I ever completed another to-do item ever.  He knew my heart, the challenges I was stumbling through, and my potential.   What was important was that I loved Him and my family with my whole heart.  Just as I held my sweet brand-new grandson last weekend, with love over-flowing  my heart for him—that little boy who did almost nothing but sleep, eat and look around–, the Lord accepts me with all my nothingness, just as He always has and always will for each and every one of us.  

And that goes for you, too.  Today.  Now.  Tomorrow.

You who are trying,

maybe wondering as well. . .

You are enough.

 Photograph by Doreen Dotto ©2006, Doreen Dotto Fine Portrait Photography, Toronto, Ontario, Canada. www.doreendotto.com

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